
Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/714343.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Glee
  Relationship:
      Ryder_Lynn/Jake_Puckerman
  Character:
      Ryder_Lynn, Jake_Puckerman
  Additional Tags:
      Friends_With_Benefits, Public_Sex, Roughhousing
  Stats:
      Published: 2013-03-09 Words: 3371
****** He Wants It All ******
by gala_apples
Summary
     In which Jake wants to do some Not-Gay fooling around, and Ryder
     conveniently forgets to mention he's pansexual.
Notes
     Nubianamy and I both decided to write this_prompt with opposing
     points of view. Hers can be found here.
     It also turned out that we'd both written the entire fic listening to
     a mashup of Call Me Maybe and Head Like A Hole we found on Tumblr.
     The title comes from a lyric.
It starts in the weight room. Ryder’s sitting on the bench lifting a twenty
pound dumbbell. He’ll do it with his left arm until it gets tired, then switch
to his right. It’s not the most efficient way. If Sam was paying attention to
him he’d probably be complaining, but Sam’s lost in his own reps, and this is
the way Ryder likes to do it. It gives him more time to not-think before he has
to start his stupid homework.
When Jake comes over and straddles the bench Ryder tenses a little. They’re
friends, good friends, but there’s this underside to it where they’re both
aware of how much they want to take from the other, and have to actively work
to not do it.
“What’s up, man?”
“So, I was thinking...”
“‘Kay?”
“And, uh...”
Jake doesn’t usually need to be prodded into sharing his thoughts. This
trailing off thing is making Ryder a bit nervous. “What, man?”
“So, you know how bros sometimes help out bros? Like Blaine and Sam? Well. I’m
not really getting anywhere with Marley, and you don’t have a girl at all. So
it would make sense if we wanted- no, not wanted. If we decided to help each
other out.”
It’s a complete fucking blindside. Out of fucking nowhere Jake has repeated
something that Ryder’s positive was taken out of context, because Sam’s
definitely straight and wouldn’t be helping out Blaine. Also Sam’s dating
Brittany and Ryder’s certain she puts out, so that doesn’t make sense either.
Jake’s internalised this crazy idea, mulled it over, and means it.
“Uh,” he says after a minute, just to break up the silence. Even if he’s not
sure what to think, he definitely doesn’t want Jake to think he’s having a big
gay freakout.
“It wouldn’t be gay. Whatever we did. ‘Cause we’d just be two straight bros
helping each other through a dry patch.”
Jake wants to fool around with him, but not in a gay way. There are probably
about five things wrong in just that one sentence, but Ryder keeps his mouth
shut. There are times to point out inherent flaws in a plan, and times to shut
up and let a straight dude kiss you. That’s probably totally a lyric in that
Turn Turn Turn song his dad listens to all the time. Some of Ryder’s first
memories are of staying up late with Dad and watching those Time Life greatest
hits of the decade commercials. He knows two lyrics of every song of the
sixties, seventies and eighties.
“So,” Jaks asks, insistently. His knee is against Ryder’s thigh. His leg isn’t
visibly bouncing, but Ryder can feel the movement of denim against his skin.
He’s not sure when his shorts rode up. He wouldn’t have even thought about it
before. He can already tell this is going to be one of those moments where
everything in his life lines up like Before Not Gay Friends With Benefits and
After Not Gay Friends With Benefits. In the After Ryder’s going to have to
think about this sort of thing, about whether or not what he’s doing is
provocative.
“Yeah. Sure, I guess. Just to take the edge off.”
Apparently that is the cue for Jake to lean in and twist and kiss him. Ryder’s
mouth was already a little open, so Jake gets his tongue in before Ryder has a
chance to even blink.
Ryder didn’t think he meant right now. Kinda dumb of him, in hindsight. Jake’s
a player, underneath it all, underneath the supposed love he has for Marley.
Why wouldn’t ‘sure, sometime’ mean ‘okay right now’ in his mind?
This could become a Before and After too, Ryder realises. Before Jake’s best
friend rejected him, and after. He could take this from Jake, take his
confidence. He doesn’t want to. This isn’t something Ryder feels comfortable
stealing. It would cut too deep. Besides, Jake’s tongue is wet and quick in his
mouth. Ryder hasn’t had this kind of kiss since the summer, and it doesn’t
really matter to him that it’s coming from a guy.
“Turn to face me,” Jake murmurs after he pulls away.
It takes Ryder a second to figure out what he means, then he turns and
straddles the bench the way Jake is. The bench is a bit too wide for it to be
entirely comfortable. It’s a dumb request too, if Jake’s intent is for them to
get closer. Their knees are jammed against each others, which makes them like
four feet apart. He really has to lean forward to get his lips back on Jake’s.
It’s something Ryder’s willing to strain for, but as soon as he can think
again, as soon as Jake stops kissing him and he can think, he’ll figure out a
better way for them to kiss. Which doesn’t actually make sense, which is proof
that Jake needs to stop kissing him so he can think.
Then Jake scoots forward and hooks his legs over Ryder’s. All of a sudden
they’re junk to junk, almost chest to chest. Jake’s leaning back a bit, one of
his arms propping him up so there’s less strain on his abdomen, but it’s
nothing for Ryder to lean forward a little more. They’re slotted into place,
and it just works.
Nothing’s ever enough for Jake though. Before too long he’s breaking the kiss
to demand “take off your fuckin’ shirt.”
Ryder does, because at this point there’s no reason not to. They’ve moved
beyond things that can be explained away, at least in his mind, so if Jake’s
okay with it then he might as well. It’s the same reason Ryder lets Jake push
him onto his back a minute later. The bench has no padding, but Ryder’s skinny
enough that he fits the width of it. Jake’s position on top of him is a little
more uncomfortable, but it’s not really Ryder’s problem. Jake had the choice
between comfort and control, and he picked control.
A few minutes into this new making out while dry-humping thing, Ryder hears the
clang of equipment being moved. He pushes on Jake’s shoulders and tries to
twist his head away to tell him, but Jake just curls both hands around his
biceps and follows his mouth. And then it’s too late. Sam is standing there,
staring. They’re caught.
Ryder doesn’t even care for himself. Not really. Blaine’s gay, Brittany’s bi.
Jake’s brother had a foursome with another girl-guy couple, so there was
probably touching. Brittany’s ex and that blond chick who was Jake’s brother’s
baby-mama hooked up at the wedding. No one’s ever asked Unique if she’s
straight or a lesbian, but Ryder has his suspicions about her and Sugar. And
that’s not even counting his cousins. He’s got so many it’s statistically
impossible that several of them aren’t some shade of GLBT. There are a thousand
things Ryder’d be more upset at being accused of over being accused of being
bisexual. It’s basically accurate, anyway.
No, Ryder cares for Jake’s sake. Jake is not going to react well when this
becomes a ‘remember that one time when’ joke. Glee’s decently insular. As long
as Kitty doesn’t find out the rest of Glee wouldn’t leak it to all of McKinley.
But nine people knowing will still be enough to kill him.
Sam opens his big mouth, and Ryder tenses. He really hopes if Jake starts
swinging fists it’ll be up at Sam, not down at him. “Oh. Cool. Have fun.”
It takes Ryder a minute to process the response. He’s never felt this confused
before, apart from stuff that deals with reading. By the time it makes sense to
him, Sam’s left the weight room and Jake’s thrusts have sped up. Jake’s not
traumatised at all, and Ryder knows him well enough to know his thought
process, and why he isn’t. He’s also positive that Jake’s wrong. That little
scene didn’t mean what Jake thinks it means. That wasn’t a good job on
continuing the ‘means nothing’ tradition comment, that’s Sam being a straight
ally. Ryder’s heard stories. Apparently Sam was the first guy in Glee to not be
squicked about singing a duet with Kurt, Blaine’s old boyfriend. Sam just saw
two downlow boyfriends getting it on and decided to give them their space.
Ryder knows Jake’s getting the wrong impression. He just doesn’t really care.
Jake’s all sweaty on top of him, and his dick is hard and excruciatingly
rubbing against Jake’s pelvis. That’s not leading him on, is it? Knowing the
situation is different, but doing it anyway? It kinda seems like it is, but
Jake’s not stopping either, so he’s happy, so what’s it matter?
Ryder lets himself come first. No doubt Jake’ll think it’s because he’s a stud
and Ryder’s practically a virgin. Maybe that’s part of it, Ryder can admit he
has less experience than Jake, which includes holding off until the partner’s
satisfied. But mostly it’s just that he’s selfish. If Jake has a big gay
freakout once there’s fluids, Ryder wants to make sure he’s gotten his fluids
out first.
Jake coming is oddly anticlimactic. He just grinds down especially hard, then
slumps, then rolls himself completely off Ryder and lets himself fall the few
feet to the floor. A minute after that he swears. “Shit. I already changed into
my street clothes. Gonna have to wear my shorts home.”
“My brother can probably give you a ride,” Ryder offers. Walking to the bus in
shorts in March will suck.
“Cool. Thanks.”
                                      ***
“So we need some rules,” Jake says.
Ryder looks at the graduated cylinders in front of him. “Uh, I think we’re just
supposed to mix things and test the PH? Or something? It’s on the handout, if
you wanna pass me my binder?”
“Dude. No. Not about the stupid assignment. About our bros thing.”
What the...Ryder twists on his stool to look at Jake. It’s uneven, almost all
of the stools are, so he jiggles a bit on the way. “Like, the bros thing?”
“Yeah. I mean it’s great to say it’s not gay, but we gotta make sure we don’t
actually get gay. So, rules.”
Ryder has the urge to pull out his phone and text Blaine for help. Or his
cousin Emery. Or the guy that wrote Queer As Folk. Or God, maybe. Because what
the fuck. “I, uh, didn’t think it was a regular thing? Like that was just a one
off?” Jake didn’t text him about it later that night, and he hasn’t said
anything about it in the last week.
“Marley’s still PG. You’re still hopelessly single.”
“That’s true.”
“Okay then. So, no butt stuff, obviously. No dick-in-mouth action. We can make
out, but I’m not in fucking love with you or anything. You have any more?”
How are they talking about this in the middle of class? How is this a thing
Jake’s doing? It’s not like Ryder’s against the idea of talking it out, in
general. His cousin Molly was into BDSM way before 50 Shades got big, and
whenever someone asks her about her craziest experience she always just turns
it around to ‘nothing’s crazy when you negotiate’. So he gets the concept of
talking. But if Jake’s so freakin’ concerned that he doesn’t do anything gay,
so no one dare think he’s gay, why the hell is he talking about this in a
classroom with fifteen other students? Not to mention the grinding with Sam in
the room. His exhibitionism kink is gonna be the death of him. Or his
reputation. Whatever, for Jake it’s basically the same thing.
But Jake’s waiting for an answer, and if Ryder doesn’t reply Jake’s gonna smack
him with the binder, or do something else that attracts everyone’s attention.
At least now they’re only one of nine sets of partners doing the same
assignment. “Don’t pull on my hair. It’s not gay, I just don’t like it.”
“Cool. Some no kinky shit sub-rules. That’s fine. Don’t like, try to spank me.
Because I will slap you right in the face.”
“Wasn’t really thinking about it.” Or well, he wasn’t. Now he is. It’s the
Don’t Think About Elephants effect. Ryder’s pretty sure Jake would squirm and
call him names the whole time, but then he’d come and blush and get all pissy
and embarrassed.
“Cool then.”
Ryder’s stiff. He squeezes the black tip of the eye dropper about thirty times
before Jake elbows him. “What’s your problem?”
Ryder shrugs. “Last time there was stuff right after we talked. I was
preparing.”
“We’re in the middle of class. I’m not giving you a handie under the table.
Pour the...whatever it is.”
Frankly Ryder doesn’t see a lot of difference between a weight room and a
chemistry lab. He’s surprised that Jake does, considering his impulse control
problems. But since Jake’s actually siding on the sane side of the fence,
Ryder’s not really planning on arguing it.
                                      ***
Ryder’s got rug burn over at least seventy percent of his body. It’s sort of
ridiculous, and sort of awkwardly hot. He considers himself pretty damn open
minded, but he never thought irritated skin would be a turnon.
For the last twenty minutes he and Jake have been rolling around naked.
Literally. Ryder’s been over and under about thirty times. It’s a good thing he
vacuumed yesterday, under his mom’s Clean or Die chore orders. Otherwise they’d
both have a light crusting of crumbs.
It’s not that Ryder wants to be on top all the time. It really doesn’t matter
to him much at all. It matters to Jake though, and it’s fun to see his
reactions when Ryder’s got him pinned. Mostly they involve Jake turning the
kisses into bites, and scrambling for leverage to flip them yet again. Each
time Jake manages, Ryder’s hips or shoulder blades or forearms scrape against
the carpet. The sensation leaves him shivering.
Jake’s on top of him now, kissing him with satisfaction. Their dicks are
pressing against each other, and Ryder could be jerking them both off. Instead
he decides it’s time for another power move. He hooks his leg around Jake’s and
tries to flip them that way. When it’s not quite enough to move Jake’s weight,
Jake laughs arrogantly into his mouth. Ryder swipes his tongue over Jake’s,
then uses his secret weapon. He grabs an asscheek in both hands and uses Jake’s
startled reaction to displace him and get them both on their sides.
“Banana!”
Ryder pauses in his continued thrusting. He’s pretty sure if Jake had Tourettes
he would have told him when he told the truth about his reading problems. “Uh,
what?”
“Your finger is like a half inch from my asshole. I’m safewording.”
Ryder pulls away immediately, going as far as to sit up and cross his legs. If
Molly ever found out he ignored a safeword, she’d like, cane him or something.
Except to be fair to him, he didn’t know that was a safeword. “Did we talk
about that and I just forgot, or?”
“New rule. If things are getting too gay, we can safeword out. Mine’s banana.”
There’s something kind of funny about Jake’s too gay word being one of the most
phallic things in existence. “Mine’s turtle.” He’s never, ever going to use it.
Never. But it’ll be weird if he doesn’t have one too. “For the record though,
wasn’t trying to finger you.”
“Good. No butt stuff was the number one rule.” Jake offers a smile. “Don’t
worry, I’m not pissed. Come back over here and give me a handjob.”
Ryder crawls over, sensitive skin hissing with each movement. Once he gets to
Jake, the boy in question gets up on his knees too. Ryder wraps his hand around
Jake’s cock and starts jerking him. Jake mirrors the action. Yeah, Ryder’s
pretty comfortable with the level of gay currently going on.
                                      ***
Ryder’s not sure if Jake’s mom is really to thank for this. Supposedly the
reason the heat is on full blast so late in the spring is because she’s got
circulation problems and can’t retain her own warmth. That Jake’s constantly
overheated is just something Jake’s gotta deal with. In the Telling The Truth
column are the sheer number of ice packs and various and sundry frozen treats
in the freezer. Ten different kinds of Popsicles make a decent compromise. In
the Totally Lying column Jake is laying on his bed in only a pair of underwear
which makes his semi completely obvious. This far into what they have, Ryder’s
seen even more transparent excuses for fooling around.
“So I was thinking about rescinding the no blowjobs rule.”
“Oh yeah? You wanna blow me?”
“What? No. I was thinking you should blow me.”
Ryder laughs and flicks his thumb on the joystick a few times. He likes to
switch his character as often as Jake will let him between Smash Brothers
battles. “Don’t you think it should be me rescinding the rule then?”
“Shit. I dunno. I guess, nevermind, shit. Never mind.”
Damn it. The three seconds of enjoyment Ryder got from that backpedaling was
not nearly worth the tightrope he has to walk now. The truth is Ryder’d love to
blow Jake. Blowjobs are in practically all the porn he streams, and he’s felt
its absence as much as he’s felt the absence of actual fucking. More, even.
Ryder’s gotten blowjobs, he has something to miss. He’s never gotten fucked.
But if he just takes the rule back without putting the right spin on it,
Jake’ll wonder why he’s committing to dick in the mouth so easily.
“I’ll do it if you do it.”
“Huh?”
“Fuck off, huh. It’s not hard to understand. I’ll blow you, but only if you
blow me.”
“Uh,” Jake trails off.
“Your choice, dude. How much you want a blowjob?” Ryder smirks a bit, then
flicks to the ice climbers. It’s a good choice for battle against Jake’s Meta
Knight.
Jake’ll say yes. Ryder’s sure of it. Maybe not by the end of the night, and
maybe not tomorrow. But by the end of the week they’ll be sixty nining.
                                      ***
Jake reaches out for a discarded sock. He spits his mouthful of come into it,
and then uses the still clean band at the top to wipe the drool off his chin.
“Was that good? That was good, right?”
It makes Ryder feel like a complete asshole that he’s sort of liking this
vulnerable side of Jake. It’s pretty damn rare, and a nice change from the
swagger he’s come to realise is just a normal Puckerman trait. And the fact
that he has to be extremely careful on how to return his friend back to
equilibrium is another dent in his afterglow. But Ryder can deal.
“Dude. Of course it was good. I came in your mouth. I don’t just randomly
deposit come whenever I feel like it. Like it’s not like ‘oh, it’s three
thirty, I should come now’.”
Jake snickers. “Yeah. I can see how the librarian would be pissed off if that
happened.”
Ryder can’t tell Jake that his first blowjob was perfect. He can’t tell Jake
that he was perfect. He certainly can’t tell Jake that it made him fall in love
with him just a little bit more. What Ryder can do is make him laugh, and
subtly make him feel safe. Six months from now Jake might want to try some not-
gay anal play. Ryder can totally imagine Jake saying something like ‘straight
guys get girls to peg them, it’s not your fault you have a dick’. A year from
now Jake might realise that making out for three consecutive hours might just
mean he is in fucking love. Two years from now, Jake might feel safe enough to
say it. Ryder’s playing the long game. He can wait until Jake says it, he
doesn’t need to take it from him.
*
God money I'll do anything for you
God money just tell me what you want me to
God money nail me up against the wall
God money don't want everything he wants it all
- Nine Inch Nails, “Head Like A Hole”
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